When I got my first period when I was 12, it wasn't at all the experience that I thought it would be. I was actually very excited to get it (I think I knew even then, before I had a spiritual context for it, that it was something very special), and I don't know what I expected when it did finally come, but I do know that I was expecting something more than just a package of Kotex, an awkward lesson from my mother in how to use them, an even more awkward "Mazel tov" from my dad, and a green pair of sweatpants. It was, in a word, a serious letdown. I didn't expect the world to fall on its hands and knees in the face of my bloody glory, of course, but it seemed a bit more important to me than all that. From that first experience, I learned that my period wasn't something to honor and cherish; it was something to hate, something to hide, something to be ashamed of, and for the next six years, that was exactly what it was for me. I dreaded the pain, I gagged at the blood, I religiously hid my menstrual products from my classmates for fear that they would know.
It wasn't until I had been involved in the Craft for about seven years (I began when I was 11 but didn't really get into the religious/spiritual aspect of it until I was about 15) that my perception of my menstrual cycle began to change. I began to question why so many women felt they needed to hide their cycles from other people, especially from other women. 'Don't most of us get periods?' I thought to myself. 'Why is it that, if it's such a common occurrence, that we feel the need to hide it from one another?' It wasn't until a little while later that I learned such words as "patriarchy" and "misogyny" (that's a whole other post entirely!), but from that first question I was determined to form a new relationship with my blood. I began to try and look at everything from a new perspective, and instead of seeing my blood as a curse, I began to see it as a blessing. 'It is a blessing that I can bleed so much and for so long without an injury present and not lose strength, but gain it instead. It is a blessing that I can endure days upon days of pain month after month and not lose hope, but gain it instead. It is a blessing that I can experience the tides of the moon and the cycle of life, death, and rebirth through my own body and my blood.' These were my mantras that, repeated each month, helped me to reshape my relationship with my cycle and heal the psychological and emotional scars that arose from that very rocky start.
My relationship with Sekhmet also helped me to heal my relationship with my menstrual cycle, in that She presides over menstruation due to Her connection with blood. When I first began my relationship with Her, She was very patient with me and my awkward relationship with my blood. However, after a while, She demanded that I very quickly get over myself and start really attuning with my blood; She told me in no uncertain terms that my blood was Her blood, and to disrespect my blood by being disgusted by it was to disrespect Her. I started off slowly, wringing used pads into water and using the bloody water to anoint myself in ritual each time my period arrived. Eventually, I began to use direct menstrual blood in my rituals, anointing the mouth of my statue of Sekhmet with the rich red liquid as an offering of myself to Her, and then partaking of whatever blood was left staining my finger as a shared libation. The first time I did this, it was an apology. I was apologizing for disrespecting the life that She had given me, and I was asking for Her forgiveness. She did forgive me, and in turn, She granted me a physically and emotionally healthy relationship with my cycle. I can now truthfully say that I actually enjoy when I get my period; there's a certain energy rush that I get, a power that flows through me, when my flow is at its heaviest and my cramps are at their most painful. This month, I decided that I wanted a talisman to carry with me that would hold that energy and power and allow me to experience it throughout each month, not just when I'm menstruating!
The Spell
For this menstrual cycle, the second day of menstruation fell on the Full Moon, which very rarely happens. This Full Moon also happened to fall on Lammas, the first harvest, and I felt that this was absolutely a perfect time to do a spell like this; with the fertile energy of the Full Moon and the bountiful, abundant energy of the harvest, it was time for me to honor my own personal harvest. The reason the second day of my menstruation is the most powerful for me is because that's when my flow and my cramps are at their peak, and that's when I feel that indescribable energy rush the most. For this spell, my goal was to honor the cycle of my blood and to charge my talisman. The object that I chose for this was a full moon pendant made out of a lovely dark red carnelian; I felt that the color was appropriate for my intent, it's a very popular stone to use during one's menstruation, and it happens to be one of Sekhmet's sacred stones.
For the spell itself, I didn't have any particular words in mind to say, so I began by speaking to Sekhmet and to my female ancestors, my paternal grandmother in particular, and I informed them of my intent to honor my menstrual cycle as sacred, and to charge my talisman with the distinctive energy that comes with my menstruation. After this, I took a white candle and carved the words "Blood," "Strength," and "Power" into it, and then anointed it and the pendant with my menstrual blood and some "Blood" oil from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. Right before lighting the candle, I placed the pendant next to the candle holder that was holding it and repeated my intent, asked for the blessings of both Sekhmet and my female ancestors, and then lit the candle with the utmost reverence for my blood and the blood of my Mothers.
What's particularly interesting to me is that, despite everything that I spoke about in the first paragraph about my first period being a depressing experience, that wasn't my motivation for doing the spell/charging that I did. In fact, I wasn't even aware that that was something that was bothering me until a few days after I had done the spell/charging. I'm pretty convinced that doing the spell helped to bring that up from my subconscious, and I'm very much grateful for that, because even though it's somewhat depressing to remember exactly what brought me to hate my body and my blood for so many years, it's pretty damn uplifting to see how far I've come since then.
