On Easter, we had to put down my anam cara, my Aunt's beloved 18 year old Schnauzer-Poodle mix, Buttons. I grew up with Buttons; it was due to our instant bond that we took her home instead of her sister, Patches. She was my baby, my beloved pet before I was able to own a dog of my very own. There's also a certain irony that she came into my life: like Anpu and Anupet, Buttons was as black as night. Even in my mundane life, I was always watched over by a black canid.
No one was expecting it, least of all me. Sure, she was 18 and moved more stiffly with each passing week. But she was still so full of life that I thought she'd live to see at least 19 or 20. When my poor hysterical Aunt called to tell us the news, it hit me like a sack of bricks. The only thing I could think of was that it was my duty as a Daughter of Anpu, Wepwawet, and Anupet to do everything in my power to ease the pain of Buttons' passing for her and for my family.
I couldn't bring my tools and I was too much in shock to think to bring some prayers from my Book of Shadows, so I winged it: I donned my talismans, anointed myself with some of my magickal oils, and used my very outfit as part of the ritual. I wore a black shirt with a black skirt and boots: black, like the fur of Buttons, black like the land of Kemet, and black like the color of my Jackals. For eyeshadow, I wore silver and lined my eyes with kohl, almost mimicking the Wedjat.
As we brought her to the emergency vet, I was Googling Kemetic akhu prayers on my iPhone and even making up a few of my own, right off the top of my head. Once we were in the room, I began invoking my Gods who dealt with death and dying-Anpu, Manannan Mac Lir, Wesir, Het-Hert, etc and praying for an easy passing for her.
I started petting her and sending energy to her in my attempt to make her transition from this world to the Next as quick and painless as possible. I sent a few prayers to my akhu too, asking them to aide Buttons on her journey and to welcome her with open arms.
I held on as they put the IV in, and whatever I'd been doing, this spontaneous ritual…it helped. One moment she was here, and the next, I reached out to sense her energy, and she was gone.
When we got back to my house, the first thing I did was to find a picture of Buttons and place her on the Ancestor Alter in my living room, and over the course of the next few days, I wrote a series of poems in her honor and to thank my Gods for Their help in my spontaneous ritual.
While I pretty much made up this ritual as I went along, I believe that my efforts did help: that night, as I was falling asleep, I bolted upright because I could swear I felt Buttons nuzzle my knee. I'd like to think it was her way of thanking me for what I did.
Sometimes, the best and most effective rituals are one borne out of spontaneity, need, strong emotions, and some energy work.
